i am reading this awesome book

How to Promote Children's Social and Emotional Competence, by Carolyn Webster-Stratton

It is for teachers... however, some of it can be applied to life in general.

"Upsetting feelings are not only to be excpected, but are essential and beneficial. They signal the need for change and problem-solving, and provide motivation. Danger arises, however, when these feelings so overwhelm [us] that [we're] immobilized by depression or lose control of [our] anger. The issue, then, is not to avoid these feelings or to eliminate conflict, but learn to cope with emotional responses to conflict in a manner that provides more self control."

We can try to eliminate conflict in our own lives, but inevitably someone will come around that will bring it back in. Every person has the right to do as they wish and we can't control that. We can only control our own reactions and how we treat others, especially those who hurt us or the ones that we love.

"The truth is that we become angry not because of an event itself but because of the view we take of it."

Again, to me, it all comes down to others' agency. Dan sent me an awesome talk/story while I was at Fort Jackson. I was having a really hard time with the other members of my platoon and company. I fought feelings of rage and anger everyday. I had never experienced such strong feelings of that nature in my life and I hated feeling so negative. It was difficult, but realizing that I could control only myself helped.

"Your thoughts are always with you, and they're under your control and no one else's. ... Unless you learn to pay attention to your thoughts, you will not be able to change them."

I am going to think lovely thoughts :)


munga said...

GREAT post, Courtney ~
Something we can all use in our daily lives. It's not what happens to us in life but how we react to it that makes the difference.
Thanks for the food for thought.

Ksenia said...

Definitely a good point. Learning how to control our thoughts and emotions is challenging and takes a lot of practice and effort. In the end, it makes all the difference.

P.S. Love the header!

Verenice said...

Thanks for the book suggestion, I am interested since I am a teacher. You are really good at coming up with creative titles for your blog.

Verenice said...

For the blog layout, you can go back to my blog and there is a link for it under links to check out and under cute blogs. Good luck!